Redneck Valentine Q & A

Where did you meet your wife? At the family reunion, just like ever’body else.

What first attracted you to each other? She liked my truck and my dog liked her.

Was it ‘love at first sight’”? It was fer me. I thought she was outta my league, tho, cuz she bowls on a different night than I do.

What do you and your wife like to do for a romantic evening out? Well, we used to go over to Footstompers and line dance and ride the mechanical bull, but now she likes me to take her to Sam’s Club fer groceries and I like her to buy me a new gun. Or at least some ammo. Unless it’s Saturday. Then she wants me to take her to the laundrymat. I don’t mind, though. They got cable TV there.

What’s your wife’s favorite thing about you? She likes how I smell, ‘cuz I take a bath once a week whether I need one or not.

Have you ever been divorced, separated or widowed? Why? What have you heard?

Do you have any children? She’s got two boys and one of mine on the way. And I don’t care what Widow Wilson says, her kid AIN’T mine!

What song did you dance to at your wedding? We ain’t had our weddin’ yet. We’re waitin’ til after her mama’s.

Do you two have a special song? She likes it when I recite all the vowels in one burp.

Is she a good cook? She does purty good with the fresh stuuf, but what that woman can do with roadkill is absolutely meraculuss!

Now it’s your turn! Add your own Redneck Valentine Q & A in the comments! And have a Happy Valentine’s Day, whether you’re a Redneck or not.