Thursday, February 14, 2008

Redneck Valentine Q & A

Where did you meet your wife? At the family reunion, just like ever’body else.

What first attracted you to each other? She liked my truck and my dog liked her.

Was it ‘love at first sight’”? It was fer me. I thought she was outta my league, tho, cuz she bowls on a different night than I do.

What do you and your wife like to do for a romantic evening out? Well, we used to go over to Footstompers and line dance and ride the mechanical bull, but now she likes me to take her to Sam’s Club fer groceries and I like her to buy me a new gun. Or at least some ammo. Unless it’s Saturday. Then she wants me to take her to the laundrymat. I don’t mind, though. They got cable TV there.

What’s your wife’s favorite thing about you? She likes how I smell, ‘cuz I take a bath once a week whether I need one or not.

Have you ever been divorced, separated or widowed? Why? What have you heard?

Do you have any children? She’s got two boys and one of mine on the way. And I don’t care what Widow Wilson says, her kid AIN’T mine!

What song did you dance to at your wedding? We ain’t had our weddin’ yet. We’re waitin’ til after her mama’s.

Do you two have a special song? She likes it when I recite all the vowels in one burp.

Is she a good cook? She does purty good with the fresh stuuf, but what that woman can do with roadkill is absolutely meraculuss!

Now it’s your turn! Add your own Redneck Valentine Q & A in the comments! And have a Happy Valentine’s Day, whether you’re a Redneck or not.


Sue said...

What does her Daddy do for work?
He farms with his Cousin, My Uncle.

Jamie Dawn said...

HOW fun!!

What did you buy her for Valentine's Day?
I didn't buy a thang. I shot her two skunks and skinned them fer her so's to make fixing supper a lot easier tonight. I also whittled her a little statue of me.

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Janell said...

Godd ones, Sue & JD! Keep 'em comin', ya'll

Paul said...

Have you two bought yourselves a trailer home yet?
Naw. What for? There's still plenny a room in Pa's trailer. But if a ternado were to come 'long like it did over at Rufuses, then maybe we could...

Mary Connealy said...

I wrote a red neck joke once, based on a true life experience.

You might be a red neck if your husband still throws his beer cans in the same corner of the kitchen six months after you've moved the recycling bag.

Flip Flop Momma said...

shoot, I mind is drawing blanks...shoot...

Janell said...

Janell meant GOOD ones, ya'll.

Paul; if that there insurance check is big enough, they might even spring fer a double wide!

Mary - I had a similar experience with dirty laundry accumulating in the spot the laundry basktet used to be for several months. When I pointed it out to him, the look on his face was pricelss! You would have seen it in the dictionary right beside the definition of "duh." Definitely a lost kodak moment.

Janell said...

Well, FlipFlop, that probably means you just ain't a Redneck yet! We'll gitcha turned around fore long.

Cliff said...

On Valentines Day Ma a me like go to town to the lawndermat and watch the clothes go round. Kinda sexy ya know?

Janell said...

Keep it safe, there Cliffie. Keep it safe.

Jamie Dawn said...

Paul's trailer talk reminded me of a true story. I blogged about this many, many moons ago:

My mom's parents moved from Oklahoma to California, Grapes of Wrath style. They took a long time to get to CA and had a couple of kids along the way in the towns they settled in to work and make enough money to continue on. They reached CA, and after being there awhile, my grandfather received a telegram from back home.

It said,
Momma blowed away today.

He knew exactly what that meant. His mother had been killed by a tornado.

Scarlet said...

Forget Valentine's Day, what are you getting her for Christmas? I'm buyin' her her two front teeth.

Jim said...

I enjoyed your meme! Did you exagerate any?

Janell said...

Oh, JD; That's so sad! With early weather warnings on radio, TV and internet nowadays, we sure have a better chance of taking cover from tornadoes now than they did back in those days.

Scarlet; I was thinking of asking for my two front teeth for next year... :)

Jim; I'll let you be the judge of the amount of my exaggeration. What do you think?

Ralph said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ralph said...

For Valentines Day I bought her one of them ther German bras she has been wantin - Holtzemfromfloppen

Jamie Dawn said...

Ha, ha, ha, Ralph!!

Hey, it's gettin' nigh unto St. Patrick's Day, Janell.
Where is ya??