Saturday, February 09, 2008

Collective Consciousness In Couplets

You can have a shrewdness of apes or a passel of hogs,
A cete of badgers or a kennel of dogs.

How ‘bout a gang of elk or a colony of bats,
A rafter of turkeys or a horde of gnats?

There is a business of ferrets or a pace of ass
A span of mules and a kindle of cats.

A sounder of boars or a yoke of oxen,
If you have a skulk, it’s a grouping of foxes.

Meerkats and ‘roos are grouped in a mob
There’s a knot of toads and an army of frogs.

It’s a sleuth of bears and a murder of crows.
How much farther do you think I’ll go?

Clams and oysters are found in a bed,
Find a confusion of weasels, but not in your head.

When birds fly together it’s called a flight,
But a brace if you’ve killed them for supper tonight.

Geese, when they’re flying, are grouped in a skein;
On the ground it’s a gaggle, now ain’t that a pain?

Hawks are in kettles when they’re flying right
But they’re a boil if they start to spiral in flight.

Herons and cranes both gather in a sedge,
Swans walking: a bevy, in flight they’re a wedge.

Eagles in a group are a convocation
And larks sing together in an exultation.

It’s a parliament of owls and a committee of vultures.
A pandemonium of parrots could stir up our culture.

A group of rhinos is called a crash,
If you have a tower, it’s a group of giraffes.

You’ll find hyenas in cackles, lions in prides
Leopards in leaps, you can run, but not hide!

Be careful, when swimming, of a jellyfish smack,
And also watch out for a crocodile bask.

Hippopotami come together in a bloat,
You could have either a tribe or trip of goats.

A streak of tigers, a labor of moles,
A warren of rabbits, blue jays in a scold.

Squirrels gather in drays, or sometime a scurry,
Just keep on reading, what the heck is your hurry?

It’s a covey of partridge and a bevy of quail,
A congregation of plovers and a pod of whales.

A flamboyance of flamingoes, an array of eels,
A coalition of cheetahs would sure make me squeal.

I could continue ‘til you’re ready to stomp,
Did you know that otters collect in a romp?

Peafowl live in a pulchritude,
Don’t leave now, that would be rude!

It’s a barrel of monkeys, and that ain’t no joke.
A rhumba of rattlesnakes should not be provoked.

You have buzzards in wakes and turtles in turns,
A cover of coots and a sedge of bitterns.

I suppose I can stop now, if you really insist,
Even though I’m not near to the end of my list.

A couple of websites helped me with this:
Purlgirl, The Dog Hause and the USGS.


Mary Connealy said...

It's excellent. Excellent.

Janell said...

Yes I wrote it. God bless you.

Cliff said...

I read and I read and was duly impressed,
As couplets go, you're surely the best.
When the bloggers all find this and spread it around,
You will doubtless be crowned the queen of our town.
I'm cranky and tired and now must admit,
That it's off to bed as soon and I... brush my teeth. :)

Jim said...

Janell, I sure am glad you aren't going to have a test for us about this stuff. It would bew tought stuff to learn, all but one.
"Clams and oysters are found in a bed" is familiar.

Janell said...

Well, thank you Cliff, that's awfully nice.
I hope you've cheered up after your rest overnight.

Jim - nope. No testing allowed on this blog. The administrator has a very short memory.

Jamie Dawn said...

This is award winning!!!
I, Jamie Dawn, award thee, Janell, with my Deepest Awe Award for great writing!!!

Did I read that one part correctly?
A "PACE" of ass???!!
I nearly choked!
You need to watch your language, girl!!!

I also LOVED your version of the Bible Mad Libs verse.
I totally agree with the weeping and gnashing of teeth part.

Janell said...

I am deeply humbled by your awe, Jamie Dawn.
And yes, you read it correctly. Equestrian folk don't consider ass to be a vulgarity, but I promise to be more careful of offending anyone's sensibilities in the future.
And thanks for your kind words on my Mad Lib. That was really fun to do!
You inspire me!

Paul said...

Excellent! Excellent! Excellent!

May I have permissions to copy and send to my grandsons and to their Christian school? Of course, your bi-line and with all the rights and privileges afforded.

cooper said...

Hey Janell,
That was fun, and so dang interesting! Now if my brain could just file it away and then pull it up at the exact appropriate time later~~~!

Janell said...

Thank you, Paul - sure you have my permission to send it along. Let me know if they liked it. If they don't like it, well... I'll just pretend they did.

Karen; thanks. No need to file it all in your head - it'll be here forever.

Sue said...

Very interesting. By the way whales also come in gams. It was an answer on Jeopardy the other night that none of the contestants knew. I felt a little smug because I knew what the question was.
I went on a golf trip with some ladies to San Diego a few years back. They had coined GAGGLE for their trips. I think it was Girls Annual Great Golf and Leisure Excursion.

Janell said...

Sue; Gam was on the lists I was using, but pod fit my rhyme scheme better. There were several critters that had more than one designation for a collective.