From an advertisement:
A man took his ailing horse to the vet and said, “My horse limps and then sometimes he’s just fine. I hope you can help me.”
The vet examined the horse and said, “Yes, I think I can help you. When he’s walking just fine – sell him.”

From a Business Card for an auto repair shop:
“Labor charge is $40/hour. Discounts given for anyone who hasn’t already tried to fix it themselves.”