This is a good one:
A pair of Classic Rednecks came through my checkout line today. I mean, EVERYTHING about them screamed “hick”: overalls, denim jackets over hooded sweatshirts totally stained with oil & grease, dirty fingernails, tattered seed corn baseball style caps. Right down to the food they bought: meat tenderizer, seasoning salt, two steaks, two baking potatoes and a case of beer among a few other things. They split the grocery bill right down the middle. I counted out the money the second one handed me and I came up 4 cents short. I said, “I need four more cents. Can you find me 4 more pennies?”
The first guy said, “Hell, yes, he’s got pennies. He’s always loaded with pennies.”
“Yeah,” the second man agreed, “But you ain’t never had no cents.”
Everyone within earshot burst out laughing.
Especially me.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
A man came to my register a few days ago and he had The Look. Ladies, you know what I mean. The Look is the half-smile, half-sneer of a man who has finally decided to stop procrastinating. He has concluded that he has been nagged enough and he’s going to do what the significant female in his life has been asking him to do over and over again for the past several days… weeks… perhaps months. He bought a dozen or so cans of dog food, a bag of kibble and several bags of rawhide dog treats. Not a morsel of people food, just canine supplies. I commented, “It looks like you’re going to be greeted by a wagging tail when you get home.”
He just nodded and with a sigh of resignation, said, “Yeah. She called to remind me,” then he added. “Never give a dog a cell phone.”
He just nodded and with a sigh of resignation, said, “Yeah. She called to remind me,” then he added. “Never give a dog a cell phone.”
Friday, March 21, 2008
A glimpse from the front line
Busy busy busy in my own little world, I almost didn’t notice the young woman as she unloaded her groceries onto my belt. It’s towards the end of my day and I’m a little tired, but I’ve decided to make the effort to make meaningful eye contact with each person I take money from. It seems only fair. When I looked up at her, I almost cried. One eye was swollen shut. She had a deep scratch on the side of her nose that should probably have been stitched and bruises on her neck and upper arm. And she had two of the most beautiful little girls I’ve ever seen with her; a toddler in the baby seat and a little one at her side. Both had thick, dark curly hair and sweet blue eyes.
“Dear Jesus,” I prayed silently, “Let me minister to this woman.”
I put on my friendliest smile and asked, “How are you doing today?”
“Fine,” she nearly whispered her answer.
“Did you find everything you were looking for today?”
“Yes,” she muttered, keeping her eyes and head turned down. Her emotions were as swollen shut as her bruised eye.
Any further efforts on my part to make conversation were thwarted with one-syllable answers and downcast, angry eyes.
She paid for her groceries with WIC checks and food stamps.
Still thinking I might start weeping for her right there in the store, I turned my attention to the toddler as I paced her groceries in the cart. “Hi, Sweetie,” I said. “Those little overalls sure look pretty on you.” The tot answered me with a cute little grin and when I turned around, her mama was smiling.
When I handed her the receipt, she finally looked up and said, “Thank you.”
I don’t know her name, but if you are a praying person, please ask God to get this family away from who ever did this to this precious mother.
Busy busy busy in my own little world, I almost didn’t notice the young woman as she unloaded her groceries onto my belt. It’s towards the end of my day and I’m a little tired, but I’ve decided to make the effort to make meaningful eye contact with each person I take money from. It seems only fair. When I looked up at her, I almost cried. One eye was swollen shut. She had a deep scratch on the side of her nose that should probably have been stitched and bruises on her neck and upper arm. And she had two of the most beautiful little girls I’ve ever seen with her; a toddler in the baby seat and a little one at her side. Both had thick, dark curly hair and sweet blue eyes.
“Dear Jesus,” I prayed silently, “Let me minister to this woman.”
I put on my friendliest smile and asked, “How are you doing today?”
“Fine,” she nearly whispered her answer.
“Did you find everything you were looking for today?”
“Yes,” she muttered, keeping her eyes and head turned down. Her emotions were as swollen shut as her bruised eye.
Any further efforts on my part to make conversation were thwarted with one-syllable answers and downcast, angry eyes.
She paid for her groceries with WIC checks and food stamps.
Still thinking I might start weeping for her right there in the store, I turned my attention to the toddler as I paced her groceries in the cart. “Hi, Sweetie,” I said. “Those little overalls sure look pretty on you.” The tot answered me with a cute little grin and when I turned around, her mama was smiling.
When I handed her the receipt, she finally looked up and said, “Thank you.”
I don’t know her name, but if you are a praying person, please ask God to get this family away from who ever did this to this precious mother.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Duh.
Wednesday at Hy Vee is Senior Citizen's Discount Day. We are not allowed to give them discounts on cigarettes or liquor, so we enter the discount before scanning either of these items.
Now here's the "duh." After I hit the discount key and the Senior Discount is calculated, I pick up the liquor and scan it. The computer then prompts me to check their id.
Here's another one. A couple came into my line with a cart load of prepackaged, frozen, fully prepared heat & eat boxed dinners and entrees. Absolutely nothing fresh; not even cereal. I asked them if they wanted paper or plastic. They produced 4or 5 reusabe canvas bags and replied, "Use these. We don't approve of plastic."
Apparantly they have nothing against cardboard.
More stories strolling through my ine every day. I'll check back in with you on the weekend!
Wednesday at Hy Vee is Senior Citizen's Discount Day. We are not allowed to give them discounts on cigarettes or liquor, so we enter the discount before scanning either of these items.
Now here's the "duh." After I hit the discount key and the Senior Discount is calculated, I pick up the liquor and scan it. The computer then prompts me to check their id.
Here's another one. A couple came into my line with a cart load of prepackaged, frozen, fully prepared heat & eat boxed dinners and entrees. Absolutely nothing fresh; not even cereal. I asked them if they wanted paper or plastic. They produced 4or 5 reusabe canvas bags and replied, "Use these. We don't approve of plastic."
Apparantly they have nothing against cardboard.
More stories strolling through my ine every day. I'll check back in with you on the weekend!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
QUICK!
Somebody, ask me how the Toastmasters competition went!
Well, thanks for asking!
I can’t wait to tell you!
I brought home a First place trophy and the opportunity to compete in the Regional contest on March 29.
But wait, there’s more.
The best part – my dear friend, Iris, from good old Lyons High who happens to live in the Norfolk neighborhood came to sit through the whole thing and give me moral support.
But wait! There’s more!
My sister, Sue, (of The Back Nine) who lives in N. also came AND willingly and cheerfully assisted the Chief Judge as a timer.
Do I have good friends and family or WHAT!?
So now all we need is good driving weather so I can make it to Columbus on the 29th.
Life is good.
But wait, there’s more!
My friend Renee and I sang at Church (Country Bible) this morning. We did the Selah version of “His Eye is on the Sparrow” and our good friend Juli played piano for us. It went very well. We’ve decided to call our little singing group ‘The Redneck Angels’ and we are working on several more songs to do for Juli’s church and for CBC. We lovingly refer to Juli as “The Music Nazi”, but that’s another post.
But wait, there’s more!
Having recently changed jobs for the umpteenth time in my life, I began to question myself about that. As in, “What’s up with that?”
I started at the age of fourteen at a local dairy queen (not a real dairy queen franchise, but a reasonable facsimile thereof.) And now, nearly 40 years and 20 or so jobs later {including waitress, Nurse’s Aide, factory line worker, Chiropractor’s assistant, newspaper reporter, Darkroom technician (my personal favorite), PR publications, retail sales, magazine columnist, administrative assistant, office manager, cashier and the list goes on…} I have to wonder why I haven’t found my ‘niche’ within the world of gainful employment.
I’m coming to the conclusion that I’m only here for the stories. Every job I’ve had has given me unique, irreplaceable memoirs. My next self-assigned task is to get them recorded for posterity.
Wish me luck.
Okay, that’s all for this time.
Somebody, ask me how the Toastmasters competition went!
Well, thanks for asking!
I can’t wait to tell you!
I brought home a First place trophy and the opportunity to compete in the Regional contest on March 29.
But wait, there’s more.
The best part – my dear friend, Iris, from good old Lyons High who happens to live in the Norfolk neighborhood came to sit through the whole thing and give me moral support.
But wait! There’s more!
My sister, Sue, (of The Back Nine) who lives in N. also came AND willingly and cheerfully assisted the Chief Judge as a timer.
Do I have good friends and family or WHAT!?
So now all we need is good driving weather so I can make it to Columbus on the 29th.
Life is good.
But wait, there’s more!
My friend Renee and I sang at Church (Country Bible) this morning. We did the Selah version of “His Eye is on the Sparrow” and our good friend Juli played piano for us. It went very well. We’ve decided to call our little singing group ‘The Redneck Angels’ and we are working on several more songs to do for Juli’s church and for CBC. We lovingly refer to Juli as “The Music Nazi”, but that’s another post.
But wait, there’s more!
Having recently changed jobs for the umpteenth time in my life, I began to question myself about that. As in, “What’s up with that?”
I started at the age of fourteen at a local dairy queen (not a real dairy queen franchise, but a reasonable facsimile thereof.) And now, nearly 40 years and 20 or so jobs later {including waitress, Nurse’s Aide, factory line worker, Chiropractor’s assistant, newspaper reporter, Darkroom technician (my personal favorite), PR publications, retail sales, magazine columnist, administrative assistant, office manager, cashier and the list goes on…} I have to wonder why I haven’t found my ‘niche’ within the world of gainful employment.
I’m coming to the conclusion that I’m only here for the stories. Every job I’ve had has given me unique, irreplaceable memoirs. My next self-assigned task is to get them recorded for posterity.
Wish me luck.
Okay, that’s all for this time.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Well, hello friends.
Here is my report regarding my new job as Hy Vee cashier.
Having gone from sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day to standing at a cash register for 8 hours a day, my back has had some adjusting to do. After my first day, my lower back was so sore, it hurt to cough. Ouch. The second day hurt a little less and the third a little less than that and so on. Just had to build up some unused muscles, I’m sure.
My main supervisor’s name is Dolly. I think in the weeks to come you are going to be hearing a lot about Dolly. She’s a character. (And I mean that in a good way.)
I’m busy all the time. Very rarely did more than a minute go by before the next customer stepped into my line to get checked out. Wednesday is Sr. Citizen discount day, so it was extra busy all day.
I was glad when the weekend got here and then disappointed when the weather stayed cold. I managed to take Bubba out for a short ride on Saturday. Sunday was too cold and windy, so I spent the day inside after church reading and trying to get my feet to warm up. Emily was hogging the computer for a mid term paper so I didn’t even get to go to Blog Church!
And now it’s Monday. With the time change, Cody and I had to go for our morning walk in the DARK. I get so irritated with Daylight Savings Time. If you want an extra hour of daylight, people, get up an hour earlier. Bah humbug.
So there you have it – lots of schedule adjusting to do and so on.
I hope you all have a good Monday.
Here is my report regarding my new job as Hy Vee cashier.
Having gone from sitting at a desk for 8 hours a day to standing at a cash register for 8 hours a day, my back has had some adjusting to do. After my first day, my lower back was so sore, it hurt to cough. Ouch. The second day hurt a little less and the third a little less than that and so on. Just had to build up some unused muscles, I’m sure.
My main supervisor’s name is Dolly. I think in the weeks to come you are going to be hearing a lot about Dolly. She’s a character. (And I mean that in a good way.)
I’m busy all the time. Very rarely did more than a minute go by before the next customer stepped into my line to get checked out. Wednesday is Sr. Citizen discount day, so it was extra busy all day.
I was glad when the weekend got here and then disappointed when the weather stayed cold. I managed to take Bubba out for a short ride on Saturday. Sunday was too cold and windy, so I spent the day inside after church reading and trying to get my feet to warm up. Emily was hogging the computer for a mid term paper so I didn’t even get to go to Blog Church!
And now it’s Monday. With the time change, Cody and I had to go for our morning walk in the DARK. I get so irritated with Daylight Savings Time. If you want an extra hour of daylight, people, get up an hour earlier. Bah humbug.
So there you have it – lots of schedule adjusting to do and so on.
I hope you all have a good Monday.
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
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