From the front line

At my store, we have a series of questions that we ask each customer. You've probably heard them all at the places where you shop. While most people respond with about half their attention, every once in a while, someone surprises me with a snappy answer, as in the following:

Q "How are you today?"
A "Better than I deserve." (Most popular response: "Fine. Hower you?")

Q "Did you find everything?"
A "I wasn't looking for everything."
(Most popular response: "Yes," as they unload a cartful onto the belt, "I only came in for two things.")
Second most often heard: "No," as they angrily unload a cartful onto the belt. "You're out of ____________ , which is what I came in for in the first place."

Q "Do you want your milk in a bag?"
A "No. Leave it in the jug. It's easier to pour that way."

Q "Would you like some help out to your car with your groceries?"
A "Only if I can take the carry-out boy home with me."